Be a Goal Getter in 5 Easy Steps

Attractive young woman thinking while writing on notepad at home

I am definitely a goal-setting girl. I really don’t know what life would be like without having my eye on a prize or two. Maybe I am just a little like the “artist formerly know as” Prince’s mother. You know…never satisfied (btw..that’s a When Dove’s Cry reference, circa 1984 for all of you who weren’t coming of age in the 1980’s).

Anyhow, I guess I kind of assume that everyone is like me and has a list of things they would like to do or accomplish next but I seem to get a lot of feedback from the book about how reading Single Mom Chic has inspired them to goal set or to finally get the gumpstion to pursue the goals they set aside.

Because  I am a list girl and a next step girl, goal setting came pretty easy for me, but if it doesn’t come naturally for you here are five ways to make that happen:

Have a vision-I like to use the Miracle Question a lot in my counseling sessions to get my student’s to describe what life would be like if a miracle happened and they no longer had said problem. Well in goal setting the Miracle question works too. What would your life look like if a miracle happened and you had the life you wish for? In other words like the question posed in one of my favorite quotes “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

Plan for the breakdown-Once you have your big overarching goal it’s time to break it down. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time… you will need to break your big overarching miracle goal into smaller steps. What will you need to do in the next week, the next month, the next year and five years from now to get you to your goal? Remember that every little bit helps. You can’t just have a vision in your head you have to take the steps towards that miracle.

Write your goals down– okay, I don’t want to sound all hocus-pocus but something happens when you actually put your goals on paper instead of carrying them around in your noggin. Somehow writing your goals down makes them more intentional and gives you focus and direction. Write them down and then post them somewhere where you can see them every day. The law of attraction hasn’t let me down…I promise it works!

Focus on the positives– Focus on the positive steps you are making in the direction of your goals. Focusing on the smaller goals helps you to build confidence and momentum. You aren’t going to reach a big goal overnight so giving yourself smaller goals that lead to your overarching goal will allow you to celebrate your successes and gain confidence in your ability to achieve your large goal. If I had started out with my educational goal being my masters degree I may have never believed I could get there as a single mom but instead I set my sights on my associates degree at the local community college and gained momentum from there. Once I had accomplished that two year degree I knew the 4 year degree was a realistic goal for me and by the time grad school rolled around I was literally on a roll.

Reward yourself-at a basic level we all respond to reinforcement of some kind. I wont go all Pavlov’s dogs on you but give yourself some positive reinforcement along the way. Think of ways you can reward yourself when you have made progress towards your goals. Make sure your reward doesn’t derail your progress though. For example if your goal is a health and fitness goal and you achieve some weight loss, you wouldn’t reward yourself with a large pizza but you might buy that pair of skinny jeans you have been eyeing.


Right now I am focusing on financial and career goals. I would love to hear about some of your goals! Feel free to post some of them below.


Until Next Post!


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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

3 thoughts on “Be a Goal Getter in 5 Easy Steps

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