How to Take the Risk in 4 Easy Steps


The other day while watching the local news there was a story about a 10 year old chef. I watched as she worked feverishly in the mock television kitchen preparing something to show her viewers; she could really hold her own in the culinary world. I can’t recall what she was whisking and pouring that day or what her final masterpiece would become, but I remember what her mother said about her. Her mother said that her daughter is fearless and she isn’t afraid to fail. “I hope she never looses that  fearlessness” her mother said longingly. I could relate to that mom and her wistful reminiscence because I too remember a time where I was much more courageous.

I think about my younger self and my friends during childhood. I wasn’t a daredevil by any means, we all remember that kid from our childhood, the one who always lived on the edge to just prove that he could. No, that wasn’t me but I was more apt to take risks. Thats how we learned right?

As carefree kids in Northern California, my friends and I would spend our days hiking through wooded trails, even though there were rattlesnakes. We pushed through blackberry thickets gathering buckets of sweet berries without fear of what might also be lurking inside the thick prickly brush. We taught ourselves to swim and do tricks on bicycles and to jump further and further from the seat of a moving swing and land firmly on our feet. This didn’t come without failure. We had plenty of skinned knees, pricked fingers, bloody lips and even a few broken bones among us, but we didn’t quit. We kept trying until we reached our goals.

Something happens to most of us as we get older though. Maybe we buy into the fear that the world sells us. Everyday we are reminded of how things can go drastically wrong and it can be almost paralyzing if we let it. Being a mom also makes risk taking a little more challenging because we are no longer just risking our own lives but someone else’s too. There is almost an innate longing to do whatever we can to keep our herd safe. Being a single mom can be even more paradoxical. However, risk taking is directly linked to success and if you don’t take the risks who will?

‘What would you do if you knew you would not fail?’

Whether you are a single mom or not I bet there is something that you have always wanted to do but you have written it off as not worth the risk right now. Everyone has a dream inside them. Some might be bigger than others but think about yours. Is it to start a new career, go back to school, open your own business, learn a new skill, or maybe even putting yourself out there in the dating world again?

Map out your goals-Taking risks now isn’t about just going out all willy nilly. Have a plan even if you deviate from it a little take the time to brainstorm what exactly you are trying to achieve. If increasing cash flow is what you want think about what you need to do to make it happen. You can’t just sit around saying “I wish I had more money”. Well you can, but that isn’t going to lead to a magical envelope filled with cash on your door step. Think about what your life would look like if you had more money.  What is different in your life? More importantly what are you doing differently and I don’t mean eating bon bons by the pool. Do you have your own business or a job that pays well? Start with the vision and then map out what you might need to do to get there.

Do your research-failure is definitely a part of success but you swing the odds in your favor a little more by being prepared. Talk with other people who have done what it is you desire to achieve. Don’t just find out what worked for them find out what didn’t work as well and how they navigated around those trials. Read up on your subject and take the time to weigh the risks and determine what will work for you.

Start Small-You don’t have to do it all in one fell swoop. When my goal was to run in an upcoming 5K, I didn’t just throw on my joggers and run out there. I started with interval training on one of those couch to 5k apps.

Celebrate your success-so many times we think in all or nothing terms when in reality goal achievement is about the journey. Celebrate along the way to keep the momentum going. When I wrote my book Single Mom Chic I thought nothing would feel as satisfying as finishing the book but the reality was that every write and rewrite felt amazing and propelled me towards my end goal. Focus on your success along the way and the risk will seem worth the reward!

I’d love to hear about what you are hoping to achieve by taking a risk! Please let me know in the comment section below.


Until Next Post,

Lips Signature






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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

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