Superheroes are Single


I saw a funny Valentine’s Day meme, which listed several superheroes and their relationship statuses. All of them, of course, were single. The meme concluded “I’m single because I’m a superhero!”

This resonated with me because I make reference to the Single Mom Superhero complex in my book. We all know that Superheroes are fictional characters and single motherhood is as real as it gets, yet we often try to hold ourselves to some unrealistic I can do it all standard. So here are five ways to get real and take off your superhero cape:

  • Build your team- as single moms we don’t always want to ask for help. There is nothing noble about being a martyr. To be fair, even superheroes have sidekicks. Identify friends and family members that you can depend on and learn to ask for help.
  • Put your own mask on first- Superheroes don’t think about their own mortality-it is all about saving their fellow man. Real life isn’t like a Marvel comic though. You simply must take care of yourself so that you can take care of the ones you love. Exercise, eat right and find time to relax!
  • Find your passion-Superheroes tend to do what they do out of civic duty. It’s their cross to bear to save the world. They aren’t usually passionate about their lives. It seems quite dark, sad and lonely for them at times. Don’t love your job but know you have to do it? Discover a way to turn your passion into profit.
  • Be a tad bit vulnerable- it’s hard to remove your armour and let other people in. Not every single mom has a tragic, painful past but you better believe we are going to protect our children and ourselves. But unless we plan to live in our bat cave forever we have to find a way to let others in. Be open, just a tad! If someone’s light is bright enough it will shine through even the smallest opening.


Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love, but remember that there is no love more essential than that which you give to yourself. This Valentine’s Day, if you are single let your single flag fly. There isn’t anything wrong with not being coupled but there is something to be said about forcing yourself to be a superhero. So instead of focusing on your relationship status, focus on self-love and everything else will fall into place!

Until next post,

Lips Signature

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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

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