Do You: A Mother’s Day Pledge

Happy young woman being kissed by a cute little girl; Shutterstock ID 108519002; PO: aol; Job: production; Client: drone


I wanted to write a simpler, more fun post for today about something awesome like liquid lipstick, because sometimes you just need a beauty post and all this life advice can be overwhelming sometimes. But life advice makes me think of hedgehogs. Let me explain…

If you haven’t read Good to Great by Jim Collins, his main premise for success is based on a Greek parable about the Fox and the Hedgehog. The Fox knows many things but the Hedgehog knows one BIG thing. Basically, in the story the sly fox tries many things to catch and eat the hedgehog but every time the hedgehog outsmarts the fox simply by doing the one thing it does really well. It rolls into a ball. So, by this theory it’s imperative that we all find our one thing that we do really well and do that thing with enough passion that success is sure to follow. Life advice, as a school counselor, as an author and as a new blogger might just be my hedgehog.

With that being said my beauty post will have to wait until next week, but I do have some really cool finds to share with you, including a holy grail foundation and cult favorite mascara with a wickedly embarrassing name.

But again I digress, in light of Mother’s Day and my pension for life advice I want to focus on the whole premise of Single Mom Chic. The “put your own mask on” concept.

In the book I share my put your own mask on epiphany during a routine flight attendant spiel. As a counselor it’s one of my go to catch phrases now. Many times as moms we get so caught up in being a martyr. We might not admit it straight out but we give and we give, and the more we give the more our calendar fills up with obligations for chauffeuring our children or volunteering at their school between business meetings, and the more fulfilled we think we are.

We are awesome super mommies right? Wrong, the truth is that really isn’t the case at all. When we compromise ourselves for the ones we love it really isn’t doing anyone any favors. If you are stressed and unhappy your family will feel that. We all give off energy and your best efforts to convince yourself that all is well won’t change the energy you put out.

It is imperative that you take care of yourself. Self care is not selfish. You might need to repeat that last line. The time you spend on yourself whether it’s penciling in your gym time, swinging by happy hour to meet coworkers or friends, or indulging in a little hair and nail pampering will make you a better mom not a bad mom.

This isn’t about not putting your kids first, it’s about making sure you put yourself on your to do list so that you can be your best for them. No one wants mom to be a stressed out, watered down version of herself. Remember your kids are watching you too. How you treat yourself is what they will unconsciously grow up thinking they too deserve.

Stop worrying about being everything to everyone else. I promise you the world won’t crumble if you make just one less dream come true. Kids need to hear no sometimes and you need to hear yes!

So, this Mother’s Day I challenge you to Do The Thing… Whatever you have been putting off for yourself because you have too much on your plate, do it! Take the class, go out with friends, have the massage. Make a pledge to do you! Treat yourself as well as you treat everyone else and watch your energy change.

Until Next Post,

Lips Signature

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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

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