With the holidays around the corner there is always a push towards gratitude and joy, but sometimes it might be challenging to focus on all the good with so much going on in the world or even within us. Life doesn’t always unfold in warm, effortless moments. Some seasons feel heavy, uncertain, or simply harder than we hoped for. And yet, these are the times when gratitude becomes not just a feel-good practice—but a lifeline. Gratitude won’t magically erase challenges, but it will shift our focus, steady our emotions, and remind us that even in the darkest stretches, light still finds its way in.

Here’s how to cultivate gratitude when life feels anything but easy.

1. Start Small—Beautifully Small

In difficult seasons, the “big” things may feel out of reach. That’s okay. Shrink the lens.

Be grateful for your warm coffee, the soft robe you wrap around yourself in the morning, a text from someone who loves you. Small things count. Small things matter. Small things add up.

Chic tip: Keep a “tiny gratitude list” in your Notes app—three things a day, no pressure, no perfection.

2. Notice What Didn’t Go Wrong

If focusing on what’s good feels hard, look at what could have gone wrong but didn’t. Gratitude can come from stability, protection, and quiet mercies that we often overlook.

Maybe the appointment went better than you feared. Maybe the car started when you needed it to. Maybe you found the strength to get up and try again. Count those wins.

3. Let Gratitude Steady Your Nervous System

Gratitude isn’t just a mindset—it’s a physiological reset.

When we pause and name something we’re thankful for, even briefly, our breathing slows, our thoughts soften, and our body shifts out of fight-or-flight mode.

Try this: Place a hand over your heart, inhale slowly, and think of one moment you appreciated today. Hold it for a beat. Then exhale. This tiny ritual calms more than you think.

4. Honor Your Emotions and Be Grateful Anyway

Gratitude in challenging times is not about pretending everything is fine.

It’s not toxic positivity.

It’s strength.

Let yourself feel the frustration, fear, sadness, or disappointment. And then—right alongside those emotions—look for something you can still appreciate. You can hold both at once.

5. Look for Support, Not Perfection

Sometimes gratitude shows up in the form of people: the friend who checks in, the stranger who smiles at you, the coworker who makes you laugh on a hard day.

Let that count. Let support be enough, even if circumstances aren’t perfect.

6. Reframe the Hard Moments

Not everything is a lesson, but some challenges do shape us in ways ease never could. Gratitude can come from what you’re learning, who you’re becoming, or the resilience you didn’t know you had.

Ask yourself gently:

“How am I growing through this?”

The answer may surprise you.

7. Stay Present—Beauty Lives Here

When times are tough, our minds rush ahead. We worry. We spiral. We brace.

Gratitude pulls us back into the moment—the only place where beauty actually lives.

Notice the sun on the floorboards. The scent of dinner. The way your dog curls up beside you. These are grounding gifts, especially when life feels unsteady.

8. Keep a Gratitude Ritual

Consistency builds comfort.

Create a simple ritual that anchors you:

• A nightly gratitude journal
  
• A morning “thank you” prayer
  
• Saying one thing you’re grateful for at dinner
  
• Lighting a candle and reflecting for one minute
  

Rituals turn gratitude into a rhythm, even when life is hard.

9. Give Thanks for Your Strength

Even if you don’t see it right now—you are navigating something challenging, and showing up anyway.

That deserves acknowledgment.

Be grateful for your endurance, your faith, your willingness to keep going.

Sometimes the bravest gratitude is simply saying:

“I made it through today.”

Gratitude Is a Gentle Light

Gratitude doesn’t deny the storm; it simply helps you find your way through it.

In challenging times, even a small spark of thanks can illuminate the next step.

You don’t need to feel grateful for the hard season—you just need to find gratitude in it.

And that is its own quiet kind of miracle.

x Tonya