How to be Single-On Valentine’s day

2012. Valentine's day

As Valentine’s day approaches I can’t help but think about my single days and how much I dreaded this holiday. I know so many people who discount it as a Hallmark holiday and don’t give it much credence whether they are married or not, but I remember feeling very perplexed about it during my single mom journey. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t happening, Hallmark holiday or not. I was raising two little girls who were very excited about it. Valentine’s day meant parties at school, cute little cut out cards to and from their classmates, and candy hearts with sweet messages.

I loved sitting down with them to address those cartoon like cards and attaching heart pops, or chocolate hearts for extra oomph. There was a certain amount of anxious excitement in the air as they wrote cute little messages to those who were special to them.  I knew at work each Valentine’s day there would be a different kind of excitement buzzing in the air.

My coworkers were an amazing group of  women who all had significant others in their lives. They would anxiously await the flowers, candy, and jewelry boxes that would roll in throughout the day. No matter what their relationships looked like the other 364 days of the year today was their day to shine. Their beaus would try to out do each other with every bouquet being larger and more extravagant than the first.

As the only single person (most of the time) this would be rather paradoxical. Of course I was happy for my coworker friends but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that it felt like it put the spotlight on my singleness for a full day. Occasionally, I’d receive a gift too from an admirer or even my super sweet parents, and while it felt good not to be completely left out it still didn’t feel like enough. It was a whole other level of FOMO. Eventually, I realized that I was giving one day, no matter how cutesy it was, way too much power. Dreading being left out of the celebration wouldn’t stop it from coming.  I had to realize that I already was enough and that I could start celebrating the day my way.

Here are some things to do to celebrate the day your way!

Treat yourself-go get a pedicure, massage, or facial. If you had a significant other you would probably spend some money doing something special for them. Use that money to #treatyoself !

Check out a local singles event-lots of bars have parties for singles on Valentine’s day. Grab a single friend and go. You don’t need to go looking for Mr. Right, just enjoy the night with a few drinks and laughs with other singles.

Schedule a day date with your littles-put on some cute digs and take your little one out to your favorite kid friendly restaurant or go to see a movie together-(this includes a niece or nephew if you aren’t a single mom- I am sure their parents would appreciate the break).  Just think …you will have the cutest date in the place on your arm.

Host a dinner party for your single friends-Don’t want to deal with all the googley eyed couples at your favorite eatery? Host a party at your place. Feel free to set up a kid table too for your single mom friends.

Start your own tradition-make a heart shaped pizza, have a spa day, or volunteer to bring cards and candy to a local nursing home. Find something that you would love to do each year regardless of your relationship status.

Bring cookies or cupcakes to work -instead of being the shrinking single violet stand out a little bit by celebrating with your coworkers.

Look amazing-wear the amazing dress and the killer shoes. You may not get the amazing bouquet but hearing how awesome you look all day is even better!

No matter what you do remember that love isn’t just about a relationship. Relationships with your friends and family and self-love are important too!

I’d love to hear what you plan to do for Valentine’s day!

Until Next Post,

Lips Signature

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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

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