Confidently You


Yesterday during my second day of Snowmageddon, I watched a video my friend posted of a young lady and her male companion out for a run in the snow. They were all decked out in their color-coordinated running gear; they looked like they knew what they were doing. When approached by the news reporter on the scene they were asked why they were running in the snow. The young woman very confidently answered that the snow was the perfect condition for running. She went on to explain why the conditions were just right!

After speaking with the reporter, she and her companion continued on their run and the news reporter returned to reporting on the conditions in the area, when suddenly the young woman slipped and fell squarely on her back, right in the middle of  “the perfect snow!” I won’t lie, I laughed heartily! She wasn’t hurt, although I am sure she was a little embarrassed. Truthfully, I wasn’t laughing at her, I was laughing with her. You see that woman experiencing her Fail Amy was just like me. She was so confident…until she wasn’t!

It reminded me of the time I confidently swung open the door of what I thought was an Open House for a home I was interested in, only to find a group of startled women sitting around a fireplace holding baby gifts. I had crashed a baby shower and startled everyone in the room as the door slipped from my hand and crashed into the table behind it. I had mistaken a pink balloon on the mailbox for an Open House Here sign! In my defense the house was for sale and had a sign but it was not the Open House, which was in the next cul-de-sac.

Now granted, this did not play out on the news and replay on Facebook timelines for random people to comment about how silly I was, but I did post it for my own FB friends and they got a good laugh at my expense.  I welcomed the jokes, because confident people don’t mind laughing at themselves. They also understand that they will have Fail Amy moments!

So what is this thing called confidence? Are some people born with it? How do you get it if you don’t already have a double dose?

For me, I think I was born with more than I probably needed at the time. My mother tells a story of me being called into the principal’s office at 6 to let me know that she had gone into labor early and I would be leaving. I confidently told the principal that he must be mistaken. My mother’s baby was due in August and it was only June. “You have been misinformed sir!”

However, that doesn’t mean I am always confident. There are several situations in which I feel less than my normal confident self. For example, speaking to large audiences. I do just fine with small groups. I absolutely love to talk, but put me in front of an audience of 200+ and my knees knock and my heart pounds in my ears. Even when people remark “You’re always so calm.”  Inside I say “but that is just my face!” I have plenty of duck moments. You know when you look smooth and calm on the surface but under water your feet are paddling feverishly! However, I am working on building my confidence in areas in which I am not as self-assured as I would like to be.

Here are a few ways you can too!

  • Do things you are already good at-I know it sounds redundant but feeling accomplished in areas in which you are already strong will give you the boost to try something new.
  • Don’t eat the whole elephant-start small. When I began running I started with an app that had me run for 30 seconds and walk the other 30 seconds. I was shocked when I could run 5 miles non-stop! I couldn’t have just gone out and ran 5 miles but I worked my way up to it. I am still amazed by it.
  • Write your goals down and formulate a plan
  • Mind your manners-watch your posture, body language and the way you speak. When people receive you well you will feel more confident too
  • Always try to look your best! When we look good we feel good!

Try these tips and let me know what works for you! Remember we are all works in progress!

Until next post,

Lips Signature

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Tonya Parker is a counselor, author and certified life coach who believes in helping women look and feel their best! Ambassador for O, The Oprah Magazine and author of Single Mom Chic

2 thoughts on “Confidently You

  1. This is so true. You have to feel confident to be confident and your tips will increase anyone’s confidence. I was amazingly shy as a child and it followed me into adulthood until I found that it was holding me back from so many things. I made a plan on overcoming the shyness and it had a lot of the things you write about, taking small steps, looking my best, hearing myself speak. Slowly I overcame my shyness and now I have so much confidence that people are amazed I was any other way. I now know I can do anything and I will succeed anywhere. Keep it up, we all need the advice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate the feedback. I love hearing stories from people who have worked to become their own best version of themselves! Thank you for sharing. Wishing you continued success in all of your endeavors!


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