We all know that it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. In many ways, for a lot of us, it just might be. But that doesn’t mean that even for the most holiday-loving among us this time of year is stress-free. And for some of us, it’s a really tough time of year. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that the holidays bring with them all kinds of feelings of grief and loss and financial stressors too.

As many of us gear up for Christmas in a couple of weeks the stress meter begins to rise. Here are three things you can do (from now until Valentine’s day) to manage the stress of the upcoming holidays.

Remember that it’s okay to say no– last month I saw that NO-vember memes were popping up all over social media. One line stood out for me: “saying no allows you to say yes to what’s truly burning inside.” I can’t resist an inspirational quote but the truth is you don’t have to have some juxtaposed burning desire in order to say no. Saying no is really a form of self-care. We can’t be all things or show up in all places without running ourselves a little ragged. During a time when everyone is hosting, performing, or gathering in some holiday festivity your social interactions may more than double what they are during other times of the year. For me, it’s really important to keep a good calendar so that I can map out the things I really want to do. This gives me the confidence to say no to the things that overlap or bump up against those things that are already on my calendar. “I already have a prior engagement” or a simple “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to attend” is really all you have to say. Most people have quite a bit to worry about when organizing an event and what they really need is a response for planning purposes, which doesn’t have to be a “yes”. You can be courteous and thoughtful and still say no.

Keep yourself on your calendar– in a similar vein to my point above, it’s really easy to prioritize others during this time of year. That isn’t always bad. There are going to be things that you do say yes to and lots of things that change your schedule during this time of year. Being flexible is a good thing but make sure you keep those healthy habits on your schedule too. It isn’t the time to skip the gym, yoga class or stop your morning meditation. Keeping a healthy habit routine will help to keep your stress levels down and give you a sense of normalcy.

Mix up (or Nix) the gifting– I know that sticking to a budget can seem easier said than done. Everyone is having a sale or some other promo and if you’re anything like me you might even enjoy shopping during this time of year. But know that you don’t have to. Families or large groups of friends who do big gift exchanges often feel a bit of resentment or anxiety about buying everyone gifts. Still, there are plenty of things that you can do in lieu of gift exchanges- doing a volunteer activity as a group instead of a gift exchange is a wonderful way to spend time with friends or family and truly enjoy a day of giving back. Narrow it down to something fun like a White Elephant Gift Exchange (my extended family is doing that this year) that not only reduces your multiple gifts to one but it’s also a fun and carefree way to exchange. Cookie or wine gift exchanges are also fun and easy ways to take the stress out of finding the perfect gift for every single person on your list. Starting a family vacation fund or donating to a family in need are also ways to stick to designated giving amounts without worrying about going over your budget.

So those are my three easy tips for managing Holiday Stress. I’d love to hear yours too. I also wrote a post about combating the Winter Blues that you can read here.

Only a few more weeks to go until the new year, friends! You’ve got this.

Until Next post,

Xo Tonya Parker